My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

Be more assertive with what you want to do.

Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.

I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.

Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

There was [ in New York] - some of it was this perception of the Midwest that I realized in this multicultural city that - and I don't think it's as true as it was - but everyone was kind of like, what, are you Jewish? Are you Italian? What are you? You know, are you black? Are you da-da-da? Are you Puerto Rican? And so I ended up - my ethnic identity was Midwestern, was white bread. And so it informed a lot of my stand-up.