Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.