You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
Jim GaffiganI was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim GaffiganThere's this message to comedians in particular, that you shouldn't write it, and a television writer should write it. And that's a prevailing conventional wisdom that I think is really wrong. That's not to say that television writers aren't great, but I think that the belief that some comedy writer's going to be able to capture your voice is naive.
Jim Gaffigan