I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.

I think when my mother died, it was such a - you know, a shock to the logic that I had been raised with.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?