I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

There are different parts of us. You want to feel safe but you want to also feel challenged.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

I need the concept of mercy for me to have some semblance of self-admiration. So in real life, I'm probably somebody who is more devout.