How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.

Be more assertive with what you want to do.

Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.