I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.

I always had this romantic notion of living in New York. I just felt like, everyone could be different and weird and whatever they are in New York.

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

I would say that now I'm somebody who goes to church.

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.

Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."