I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.

I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.

It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.

My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.