You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

I love standup comedians. I really do.

Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."

Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.