You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

I've been outed as a Christian.

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.

They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.