Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

One thing I'm afraid of is not taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like these are kind of gifts.

I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'

I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of "sit back and wait your turn," or "sit back and wait and let other people do things."

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you. So I feel like with food, it is a passion of mine. It's where my sensibility rests. I love topics that are universal, and I love stuff that doesn't alienate people.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.