They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

Jesus if you could cure our son's blindness that'd be great... And we'd love some shelves over there.

If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

Screaming. Did I mention the screaming? Screaming is usually associated with horror films and roller coasters. This is why I usually look like I've just watched a horror film on a rollercoaster. Kids love to scream. Frightened, happy, bored. They scream. I've actually learned to love the sound of a vacuum cleaner. It's just so peaceful.

I'm afraid of a couple things. I'm afraid of getting caught up in other people's expectations, because I feel like that's an ongoing battle.

I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.

Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.