I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

I've been outed as a Christian.

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.

I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family." Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.