I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

Jesus if you could cure our son's blindness that'd be great... And we'd love some shelves over there.

I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just plummeted. It was like I had already achieved what I wanted to achieve.

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

I think when my mother died, it was such a - you know, a shock to the logic that I had been raised with.