As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
I have more pictures of my children than my father ever looked at me.
Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.
I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.
I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.