I like to think of bread as really bland cake.

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.

I am somebody who - my path to my faith is very kind of individual, and I don't want to be lumped into the category of those Westboro Baptists.

I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.

I like to stay in a hotel where it's a dome of silence. I can sit in my room and do nothing.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

It's amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? 'What the? Has someone been kidnapped?'