"Entertainers Of Faith," funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed of his Catholicism. He's seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand.

The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

Now the Thanksgiving meal is just so unnecessarily difficult. I mean even mashed potatoes - it's like the most difficult kind of, you know, medieval idea. All right, instead of just cooking them, why don't you spend, like, eight hours peeling them and then we'll have to mash them up. It feels like prison labor, really.

Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.