I didn't think that it's something that would happen. I didn't think I would be in the position, emotionally or financially, to be able to do that. But I've been lucky [to have big family].

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.

“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?