I didn't think that it's something that would happen. I didn't think I would be in the position, emotionally or financially, to be able to do that. But I've been lucky [to have big family].

I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.

Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, "Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it"

Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It's like, come on, this isn't 1960. No one's polishing their shoes.

There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.

One thing I'm afraid of is not taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like these are kind of gifts.

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.