There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

The reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.

Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.

Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."

I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.