I would say my return to my faith is - it's a very personal thing.
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.
Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."
It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!