I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.

That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"

The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone.

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

I reached a point in my life where I didn't really like who I was.I was married to an amazing woman. I had children, and yet there was frustration.

I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.