I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.

I just want to be known as funny.

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.

But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.

In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.

Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.