There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.

You look like a diabetic strip club owner.

No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.

I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys?

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.

People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.