You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.

I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.

People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.