I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.

People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.

I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys?

People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.

The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

The only time the press doesn’t sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then.

For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.