Mirror that lies, mirror that lies, that can't be me in the gorilla disguise.

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus. It's that kind of morning.

It takes just as little time to see the positive side of life as it does the negative side.

Sail the main course in a simple sturdy craft. Keep her well stocked with short stories and long laughs. Go fast enough to get there but slow enough to see. Moderation seems to be the key.

My only contact with the outside world was an RCA Victrola, and Elvis would sing, and then I'd dream about expensive cars.

My occupational hazard is my occupation's just not around.

I remember the excruciating school task of writing a three-page term paper. But, oh, that feeling when I was done! I think I drive myself for that feeling of accomplishment.