Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected.
A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong
A sportswriter is entombed in a prolonged boyhood.
A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
Rooting for the Yankees is like owning a yacht.
A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set