A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong
Joe Louis is a credit to his race - the human race.
I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.
Ballplayers who are first to the dining room are usually last in batting averages.
A sportswriter is entombed in a prolonged boyhood.
England produces the best fat actors.