A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong
Rooting for the Yankees is like owning a yacht.
[A knuckleball is] a curve ball that doesn't give a damn.
A sportswriter is entombed in a prolonged boyhood.
Hockey would be a great game... if played in the mud.
A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.