Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."

You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.

The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.