The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

It's not a crime to get drunk.

The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

Faith is like a kernel of wheat.

I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.