It's not a crime to get drunk.

I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.

If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."

A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

The movies that are honored at The Oscars are always a certain type: Old-fashioned. It's a bunch of well-made, old-fashioned movies that support our idea of ourselves. They uplift the human spirit. That's why horror films never even get nominated.

Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.