It's not a crime to get drunk.

I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.

It's not a crime to get drunk.

A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

I hate The Oscars. The Oscars make me want to throw things at the TV. In the ancient history of The Oscars, people would go on and make political statements and get thrown off the stage, but the last great political statement, I think, was when Michael Moore started raging against Bush a few years back. Everybody booed him, even though I can't imagine Hollywood booing a guy who's bashing Bush. That was the last great spontaneous moment on The Oscars.