A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."

You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.

I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.