A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.

I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.

They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age of The Academy is 84. They wheel those people in from Palm Springs and hook up their IVs and they vote. The people that go to movies are under the age of 28, for the most part, so there's this total disconnect between what the Academy thinks is a great movie and what the audience actually wants to see.

In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.

There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.