My first baseman is George "Catfish" Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh Pirates team, which lost 112 games. After a terrible series against the New York Giants, in which our center fielder made three throwing errors and let two balls get through his legs, manager Billy Meyer pleaded, "Can somebody think of something to help us win a game?" "I'd like to make a suggestion," Metkovich said. "On any ball hit to center field, let's just let it roll to see if it might go foul."

Not only was I not the best catcher in the Major Leagues, I wasn't even the best catcher on my street!

Billy Loes was the only player in the majors who could lose a ground ball in the sun

It's pitching, hitting and defense that wins. Any two can win. All three make you unbeatable.

The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street-a lot of singles, but no action.

You really have to be some kind of a creep for a dog to reject you.

I went through baseball as a player to be named later.