If you haven't peed the bed, you haven't taken enough chances.

The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.

Live your life like you're the hero in your movie and right now.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.