The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.

It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.

A unicorn is a donkey from the future

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand you and doesn't want to understand you... There's no natural behaviour. Everyone is wearing clothes they don't want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don't want to do. They have no connection to it. That's the problem with our society.