No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.

If life wasn't real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.

I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

You want to talk about the word faggot because it really offends you? Well you're a douchebag.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.