I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.

If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking.

Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

I'm really happy that I've been able to make people laugh and distract them from their day to day bullshit at a comedy show or because they enjoyed one of my CDs or TV specials, but I don't know how many people have actually had life changing thoughts because of it.

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.