Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.

A unicorn is a donkey from the future

I’m afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.

Sometimes faggot is the right word. There's a trend in this country to avoid words: "We can't say that one anymore it's offensive."

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

People for the most part can smell lies.