Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.

Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in...... Brazilian JiuJitsu

Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.

When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.

Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.

The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind