When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed.

It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.

When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.

A comic, all they have to do is, if you do something funny in a comedy club and you put it up on you tube, it might get a million hits! All it needs to do is resonate with one person who sends it to their friends, who sends it to other people, and before you know it, it has spread virally and BOOM! All of a sudden that person has a name.

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.