When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.

Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It's a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box... but in an actual physical fight against someone who's just a wrestler, you're going to get killed.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

I did a lot of crazy gigs man. I hosted a Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket Rhode Island which is this tiny depressing fishing town, all Portuguese immigrants and it's just a humorless, dark town.

Like any tool [drugs] can help you or hurt you.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.