If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.

One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you're working, it's the best thing that's ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.

I wanted to play football and see how that went. In my mind, I knew I wasn't good enough to be a pro, but I was having a really fun time doing it. When you're on a college team, you can tell who's going to be a pro or not almost instantly.

Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.

Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.