Memories are like everything else. They're a trap.

I never wanted anything to happen to my parents, but a hero needs an origin story.

Being in love is totally punk rock.

Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it.

I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping books for four years now, and I am never going to give them back.

I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices.

I don't know what you believe in. I believe we just stop. Because if we move on to an afterlife, any kind of afterlife, that means there will be other people there. I'm tired of the chit chat. Oh, that is a handsome boy. He takes after his grandfather. Did they change the breakfast again? It tastes different to me. For Eternity? No thanks.