Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum

I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

You can escape into a character.

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.