I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

Like your job. Love your wife.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.