I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum

Like your job. Love your wife.