Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You can escape into a character.

Like your job. Love your wife.

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.