Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

I don't watch my movies. I just get too critical of myself.