If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.

Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.

Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.

What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible.

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.

There's nothing good on the television; let's burn a witch. It must have been terribly exciting to live in those times.