Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

I started to make harder jokes before anyone else did. And the producers would get anxious. They'd say, 'That's a little bit hard-edged, isn't it?' And I'd say, 'Let's just try it and see how the audience reacts. If they don't like it, let's cut it out.' And the audience roared with laughter, so I learned you could do this harder humor and people loved it.

We don't know where we get our ideas from. What we do know is that we do not get them from our laptops.

British press think entirely in clichés, and when they do come across creative work, they think that it must be based on something, because they don't realize that you can create things that aren't based on things.

The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip.