It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.

I don't want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like.

The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.

I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.

I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.