years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.

I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.

Laughter is the best creative medicine.

I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!

I don't want to hurt people.